i have been rolling it around in my head to start a side blog.  one where i can speak in my first language which happens to be profanity.  not alot of editing, probably no pictures, free form essay type stuff.  writing in a journal over the past 3 decades has served me fairly well as an alterative to having to make trips to a physiatrist's couch.  not saying i am going to be divulging my inner most secrets, i just have some side stuff that I have got to get out of my brain and it's shit that may be of interest to the random person that happens to find their way here.  15 years ago i happened to stumble across an article in a parenting magazine  that was something of an epiphany for me.  at the time i had been a stay at home new mom for my son for 2 years.  i didn't have any other friends that had children.  i value expertise over opinion so i read lots the books and subscribed to several magazines on the subject of child rearing.  i mean, you don't want to fuck up being a parent, this isn't like taking care of a cat.  two years and my anxiety was at max, even writing in my journal didn't help.  I remember one entry i wrote while my son took a rare nap.  I spoke about how when he is asleep the stress subsides but once he wakes up i'm back "on"...trying my best to fulfill the most important job one will ever have.  it was alot of pressure.  it didn't help that i was co-parenting with someone who was a dick over these kind of issues.  so one day i got another of my many parenting magazines in the mail.  the articles are usually factual, what to expect at certain ages or what foods are best to make your kid smarter than you.  but this month they happen to have an article written by a mom focusing on emotions and parenting.  it said it was normal to feel overwhelmed, and have massive anxiety being a parent, especially a new parent and a stay at home mom.  This is normal?!  I'm not a horrible person?!  I'm not loosing my mind?!  I know all of this sounds like a "well, duh!" but I had been living in a bubble, a cage even, for 2 years.  all of the parenting was on me and when I felt overwhelmed i was shamed and ashamed.

so that is why i am starting this side blog.  when you find out that you are not alone and even normal it can be life and mind changing.  i also really love to read about clutter and our thought process over it.  I am planning on doing some declutter/organizing book reviews and also bring in my personal experiences which I hope either help or entertain.