I try very hard to talk the talk and walk the walk about clutter but there are times it creeps up on me. so this post is going to be a bit different, i'm not feeling my usual "got everything under control" when it comes to my stuff lately.  

 I have done so many massive declutters and then it feels there is too much yet again 6 months later.  over the past 2 years because of quarantine I have drastically reduced my fun thrifting and estate sale-ing so one would think if things aren't coming in then problem solved. But there were several factors that played into this timeframe that did contribute to extra clutter. One being i sold my vintage travel trailer which i had for over 20 years.  I never used it for traveling, it was basically decorative yard art and storage.  the other being my inheriting 2 truckloads of stuff from my mom.  the items that were in the trailer ranged from craft supplies, resale items, collectibles to empty boxes and packing material.  the stuff from my mom ranges from sentimental to guilt clutter.  

 i have been trying to look at clutter reducing in different lights and just really understanding why I can never get it under control for an extended period of time.  How I have approached decluttering has been in two forms. 1: small spot decluttering, picking a room or section and reducing.  2. huge overhaul, such as Kon-Mari, doing the entire house.  And what I think i have hit on is that I just reduce, never fully eliminate or get down to basics.  Also when i reduce I tend to turn around and fill those spaces that were just freed up by shifting clutter from other spots.  

here are a couple of questions that i have been trying to implement lately to help me with my decluttering:

1.  would you buy it again?

2.  could you replace it in 20 minutes or for 20 bucks or less?

another thing i have been trying to work into my thinking is the possibility of complete elimination of certain groups of things, or at least get them down to just basics.  I took this approach recently with my hair dye stuff. I had all sorts of stuff in there that i bought and used just a few times: hair bleach, protein treatment for over bleaching, color remover, a full bottle of blue-green dye (my old go-to color before I switched to red)  various applicator bottles, clips, tips, foil.... stuff that I used to use every other month but not for the past 3 years.  they weren't really old, expired (ImO), or broken.  but it was a big basket of stuff that i always had to push these things out of the way to get to the handful of items that are now relevant to my hair dye regime.  Normally i would have maybe reduced a few items/multiples and then tried to organized things together in little bags.  But i decided to try "minimalist", meaning only keep what i used.  i know that probably sounds like a 'duh' but for all i knew maybe i may have wanted to go back to bleaching my hair, i do things like that on whims all the time. But i chunked most all of it.  the next time i went to dye my hair it was a world of difference.  i didn't have to empty out the basket of items i don't use, it was just all ready to go.  this whole long story applies to question 2 above as well.  All of the items i threw out aren't special and are right down the road at Sally's.

I went through the trailer items and donated a huge amount of stuff to thrifts stores and to friends that do resale.  the items i was left with i divvied up between my inside storage area and our shed.  the items from my mom have been a bit more difficult to deal with.  i have been working on 'jenga' packing items that I really do want such as photos, old letters.  But actual items/belongings for the most part are an issue.  i inherited a lot of things that belonged to past family members (example:a huge set of china with place settings for 13 people) that i took on.  all of these items were so treasured by her.  but the truth is I didn't really know any of these family members very well.  the items don't hold any special memories for me, and maybe the most important and practical...i don't like these items, they are not my style.  If I saw them at an estate sale, would I buy them?  Absolutely not.  so i am doing my best to slowly reduce these things out of my home.  i don't think i can just pull the bandaid off and eliminate them all at once.

So what is going to be my new approach to decluttering?  Try to lean more into minimalism when it comes to things other that decor.  (I love maximalist with my decor and that isn't changing!)  I will probably take everything on in sections once again, like Kon-mari does...its just daunting.  

 one primary reason i have such an interest in possessions and decluttering probably has a lot to do with my mom whom passed away a year ago.  Over the past 20 years she became what i called "chronically disorganized", she would call herself "your hoarder mother".  I don't think she had a hard core hoarding issue, she wasn't storing old pizza boxes on her floor or had rodents in her home.  Her house was drastically cluttered but very sanitary.  she had a several piles of magazines, newspapers, mail.  Her dining room table wasn't able to be dined upon because it would be piled up with bags of snacks, candy, papers, dishes and kitchen gadgets that she thought looked fun but used once and had no place to go.  she would shop sales all the time and buy stuff she thought was a good deal or could be a gift for a random someone.  

she had a hard time letting stuff go because she would still see the item in the same light as she had bought it.  she didn't see that she wasn't using it or it had no place to go.  Example being she had a kitchen appliance that it's only job was to make tea.  it had a glass pitcher with an interesting shape.   every time i would visit it would get brought up and she would tell me about the great tea it made but i could see that it was covered in dust and the pitcher was full of receipts and etc. tiny pieces of paper. she had other stuff piled in front of it making it hard to get to even if she did want to use it. I think she may have used it a few times when she first got it.  and even though she wasn't using it any more she still saw herself as using it again maybe one day.  thinking on it now, i believe she was trying to talk it up so she could send it home with me.  if she could off load something on to someone else that was really the only way for her to declutter.  she felt like she was helping them out and it was going to a good home.  

a lot of conversations she and i would have had to do with decluttering.  i would recommend books i had read to her.  while going through her things this past year i came across at least 4 books on the subject.  

she didn't always have a clutter/possession issue as i was growing up.  this has been something that happen when she moved up north, had extra income but no family or friends where she lived.  i watch and read alot of shows/books on hoarding and there is always a trigger where the over collecting gets abundant.  and now looking back i see that for her it was being lonely.  she bought stuff to feel better, have something to do, but didn't care enough to do something with the items when she got them home.  she was always looking for these items to solve a "problem" on the surface.  To be a quick fix solution to something that wasn't all that important.  Like buying an appliance just to make tea.  But the problem had nothing to do with tea. 

topic: sentimentality with possessions 

when doing a Kon-mari tidying marathon, you declutter by category not location.  starting with the easiest to let go of (clothes) and ending with the hardest, (sentimental).  the idea is that by doing the easier groups first you are honing your editing skills by the end for when it gets real.  i think the hardest part of it all is that anything can be considered sentimental, even common pocket litter like a ticket stub or a candy wrapper.

you can't keep it all, yet as i was telling my son i was going to go through his old school art and edit some out he says " well, once it's gone, it's gone."  yikes.

sentimental items can be very hard to edit especially if they are possessions from a loved one that is gone or a moment in time that passed such as your child's early years. i think the best way to approach sentimental sorting and discarding is at a slow pace.  work on it when you feel the right frame of mind.

categorize all of your sentimental type items together in bins/boxes, such as: photos, letters, childhood items. maybe even by person they represent or life periods. start by tossing out any easy to let go of stuff like photos of asshole exes along with their letters. then start the true process of Kon-mari which is picking the stuff you love and really want to hold on to.  items that transport you to moments of nostalgia.  review what's left and consider if it really holds true sentiment.  more items doesn't necessarily mean a more vivid trip down memory lane.

after gathering up the best mementos what to do with them?  most organizational experts will say you are not honoring these items if you don't display them. and yes, items that can be displayed or used should be,  however most of these items are not going to be objets d'art.  i had a friend that used shadow boxes and put ticket stubs, photos, receipts, paper umbrellas etc. from vacations and hung them on the wall in her entryway, and if that's your thing then hook that up.  i am actually in favor of keeping these precious bits stashed away, in something i call a sentimental plunder bin.   being able to physically dig through these mementos, hold them in your hands, and reflect on thoughts makes them all the more powerful and sentimental.  it's like opening a time capsule, an old steamer trunk from the attic, a Harry Potter pensieve and diving mind and heart into the past. 

 topic: thrift stores and acquiring

i love me some thrift store shopping!  it's an adventure, you can find unique stuff, and the prices are fantastic.  i have been at it for 30+ years .  the primary reason has been to seek out neat vintage stuff at a major bargain to funk up my abode.  but that stuff can start piling up if you aren't careful.  i have reduced my stash over the decades by several means.  I first tried ebay when it was in its infancy and didn't have very good success.  i had to list items several times and then only sold them at a break even cost. then ebay takes a bite and there's all the packaging and shipping costs to figure, driving the boxes to the PO, and god help you if the buyer has an issue... so not worth my time or the nickels i earned. I have had several yard sales over the years which i sell shit for cheap, quarters.  buy 1 item get 10 free. i have also sold things on craigslist which were higher dollar items like a push lawn mower and a violin.  and lastly I've just donated or gave stuff away.

about 4 years ago i decided to Kon-mari my house and that was the true turning point for me that curved my high acquiring.  when you have to face all of the shit you own and know you did this, it is a wake up call.  also understanding that everything has to have a place and not shoved into a storage bin for 'later use' or some hair brained upcycle crafting BS.  

i think one of the conflicts that goes on in the mind of hard core thrift store shoppers such as myself is that it's a hunt and a thrill.  if you leave empty handed it can almost feel like a waste of time, a let down.  that kind of thinking has to be halted.  

after my Kon-Mari i reduced my thrift store shopping drastically.  i could now clearly see what my house could comfortably hold and what areas may need a bit of junk on the wall.  so then i was shopping thrift stores with a purpose and i have a running list in my head of stuff i am looking for.  sure, i still hunt the whole store and sure, every now and again a random item comes home but not like before.  literally before if it was vintage and a decent price i bought it. Now if i come home empty handed i don't see it as defeat. i see it as a postive that i don't have some random item that i have to deal with/store/maintain.  it's a victory.    

 so on the subject of stuff, clutter, belongings, knick knacks, what nots, doo dads.... 

its probably my most favorite subject and i can drone on and on over it. it absolutely fascinates me.  we all have belongings and we all have a hard time letting some stuff go.  it could be because something is still seen as useful or it has sentimental value.  it could be something as mundane as a walmart plastic bag but to the right person it has got that something-something making them hold on to it.

i read a ton of books about clutter, organizing, hoarding.  ones that are written for someone who is just a lazy slob and then others that are book forms of a therapy session.  i used to think that there was one definitive book out there that held all the right answers, but that is not the case.  you have to read them all.  pick out what speaks to you.  sometimes it depends on where you are in life as to which book to read.  feeling inspired and upbeat and want to tackle some clutter?  read a thin book with quick tips and bubbly cheers.  or maybe you are going through a rough time in life and decluttering is a key part in moving forward, such as a death or the end of a relationship.  then reading something that caters more to emotional and sentimental matters would be a good choice.

i've read all the books i can get my hands on through my public library and now i am taking on the entire states resources through interlibrary loan.  see, i don't own them all, that would be clutter!

i have to constantly read these books for my own benefit, because i am a hard core junk lover.  i live for thrift stores and estate sales.  you don't have to be looking for anything, it will find you. example: i never realized that i 'needed' an electric lighted make up mirror, but yeah, let's give it a go, only 3 bucks!  

now, ok, this is my issue.  i have this conflicting deal where i hate clutter but love finding neat stuff or finding stuff to fix up.  i have this constant back and forth in my brain pitching pros and cons.  it all comes down to finding balance and getting some limits in place that you can work with.  your house has a limit of how much stuff it can aesthetically hold/display.  your life has a limit of how many projects you can accomplish before it's end.  one of my most favorite shows (obviously!) is Hoarders.  i remember this one episode where the woman had an entire room filled with skeins of yarn, she was in her late 60s, maybe 70s.  the team asked her how long it takes to knit a blanket and calculated that with how much yarn she had it would have taken her nearly 20 years to use up her stash, meaning it wasn't going to happen.  she could live another 20 years but just knitting?  you gotta do more in life than that.

like i mentioned, i can go on and on about clutter and i plan to!  topics that I touched on here:  thrift stores and acquiring, learning balance and limits, resources, personal clutter concerns.  i'll flesh these out in more detail in future posts.

 end of an era.  typically this means the end of a decade or the end of a major moment in the collective of the world.  but the end of an era i think should be more applied to ones' personal life and story.  this theme has crossed my mind on so many occasions over the past few years especially since my son is heading into adulthood.  the first hit i received over this was after the left elementary school.  i cried, i still miss elementary school.  but the situation that really shown as end of an era was in 5th grade and doing after halloween clearance shopping at target.  i realized there was no need to buy party supplies for next years class party....because middle school. 

i had another end of era moment today.  while going through the cabinets in the kitchen i came across these little cloth napkins I had sewn for my son to use in his lunch bag starting in elementary school.  i am an extremely thrifty and cheap gal and to save money rather than having wasteful paper napkins i bought a large cloth dish towel from dollar tree, cut it into 5 squares and hemmed them, thus making reusable napkins.  he used them up until high school, which then was cut short by remote school, and now for his senior year he is doing college dual enrollment...so he doesn't need the little napkins anymore. They are pretty faded and wrinkled and not much use other than what they originally were made for.  so what now?  get rid of them?  this is the kind of object attachment that I plan on writing about more in the future.  it can be some intense shit.  sentimentality over a dollar tree towel.

 when the pandemic started i was kinda excited about all the 'at home' possibilities.  all the old fashion family fun and projects that we were going to take on.  that's also because the original plan was this was only going to be for 2 weeks...maybe 2 months.  remember that?  I sure feel like a naïve dingbat thinking back to those days. after the truth of the dire situation set in (2 years? and counting) i have now been living on a constant diet of anxiety and potato chips.  one thing that has always served me well when i am feeling powerless is to clean and declutter.  it's something that costs nothing but time and the results are a better high than crack...well, so i think.  crackhead declutters out there may need to give me their expert opinion having experience in both realms. for the first 3 months i was hot on it.  i weeded the entire yard, decluttered and deep cleaned my 1964 airsteam travel trailer, decluttered/organized the shed. the fam and i had little dinners and lunches on the deck, we played all of our favorite board games, watched 10 years of family home movies. then as the summer heat kicked in and bad news in the world and in my personal life kept piling on I reduced my self down to only activities that required breathing.  I was still able to handle doing that.

 over the past year i haven't taken on very many projects involving decluttering or cleaning even though i know deep deep in my frazzled brain i know it is the treatment for what ails me.

 i have been rolling it around in my head to start a side blog.  one where i can speak in my first language which happens to be profanity.  not alot of editing, probably no pictures, free form essay type stuff.  writing in a journal over the past 3 decades has served me fairly well as an alterative to having to make trips to a physiatrist's couch.  not saying i am going to be divulging my inner most secrets, i just have some side stuff that I have got to get out of my brain and it's shit that may be of interest to the random person that happens to find their way here.  15 years ago i happened to stumble across an article in a parenting magazine  that was something of an epiphany for me.  at the time i had been a stay at home new mom for my son for 2 years.  i didn't have any other friends that had children.  i value expertise over opinion so i read lots the books and subscribed to several magazines on the subject of child rearing.  i mean, you don't want to fuck up being a parent, this isn't like taking care of a cat.  two years and my anxiety was at max, even writing in my journal didn't help.  I remember one entry i wrote while my son took a rare nap.  I spoke about how when he is asleep the stress subsides but once he wakes up i'm back "on"...trying my best to fulfill the most important job one will ever have.  it was alot of pressure.  it didn't help that i was co-parenting with someone who was a dick over these kind of issues.  so one day i got another of my many parenting magazines in the mail.  the articles are usually factual, what to expect at certain ages or what foods are best to make your kid smarter than you.  but this month they happen to have an article written by a mom focusing on emotions and parenting.  it said it was normal to feel overwhelmed, and have massive anxiety being a parent, especially a new parent and a stay at home mom.  This is normal?!  I'm not a horrible person?!  I'm not loosing my mind?!  I know all of this sounds like a "well, duh!" but I had been living in a bubble, a cage even, for 2 years.  all of the parenting was on me and when I felt overwhelmed i was shamed and ashamed.

so that is why i am starting this side blog.  when you find out that you are not alone and even normal it can be life and mind changing.  i also really love to read about clutter and our thought process over it.  I am planning on doing some declutter/organizing book reviews and also bring in my personal experiences which I hope either help or entertain.